Lost

I've really been wanting to write something lately in hopes that forcing myself to put thoughts into words would bring clarity and help settle my mind and emotions which have been all over the place these days. I didn't want to complain about how burned out I've been at the hospital or how this winter has over stayed its welcome, so I just didn't write because that's all that would have come out. So I start here instead: I want something to change in my life, and I can't seem to put it into words yet. But it has something to do with wanting my life to have real meaning, to be and do things that are purposeful and that have lasting value, not once in a great while but everyday. If I had only one more year to live, what would I do? Should I not be doing that now? Do you ever know what you need to do and yet can't muster up the determination and commitment and energy to follow through even though you want to? This is probably not making much sense- that's fine because I'm still a little lost myself.